Put a Lid On It!

Hello again,

Lat night I forgot to put the lid back on the toothpaste and based on the lecture I received this is very serious. What is it about this small white cap that throws Tarena (and I’m sure other women) off when it is misplaced. Such a minor offence would be overlooked by most men.

This story illustrates the basic difference between men and women. When a man encounters an obstacle he simply overcomes it, there’s no need to dwell on what happened or who is responsible that would waste more of his own time. As an aside if I wake up to a tube of Crest Rubber-Cement (now with scope crystals) I simply employ one of my tested and true clog removing techniques. I can usually dislodge the blockage with sharply applied pressure and if not (because of insufficient time) sometimes I just have to enjoy the rubbery texture. But solving the original issue is not sufficient for a woman. She must ensure that the person who is responsible for this lidless atrocity must not go unpunished. The perpetrator must know what they have done, who it affected, how many times they’ve been told before, and most importantly that talking about this is so important it must happen now (not after your done blogging).

This is only one minor difference between men and women I observe in my relationship. Communication is another area where men and women are apples and oranges. I have ranted about this to a few of you before but I feel it is appropriate to share my wisdom once again.

Women like to talk. It doesn’t have to be important or interesting sometimes they simply wish to throw words at you (usually when you’re trying to do something that requires concentration. My first piece of advice is to listen because as much as they like to talk they prefer to yell (at least mine does). When a man wants to tell another man something he can usually do it in a mere fraction of the time it would take our female counterparts and with far less words. For example if I wanted to invite Mike to a movie I would simply say “Hey, do you want to go to a movie”. There’s no need to bog him down with my days activities and it would waste my time explaining it to him anyway. Perhaps this accounts for the exponential growth of Tarena’s side of the phone bill every month. When a woman wants to tell another woman something it is usually surrounded by the ENTIRE days happenings. So if Tarena was asking Kim to go to a movie it would probably sound something like this: “Hi Kim, it’s Tarena… blah blah blah… This morning Matt forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste… blah blah blah… Took me so long I was late for work and had to cancel an appointment… blah blah blah… now I’m free this evening… would you like to go to a movie tonight?... Does Mike leave the cap off the toothpaste as well?”

-Matt